Home 3 months

It’s hard to believe we’ve been home for 3 months today.  In some ways it feels exactly like the first 3 months with a newborn – survival mode, very little getting accomplished, not much fun.  But it’s very different.  Instead of having a newborn that doesn’t want to sleep, we have a 2 year old who throws a bedtime tantrum because it’s not bath night.  And instead of revolving your day around multiple naps and feedings, our days revolve around therapy and doctors appointments.  And also naps.  Our to do list keeps growing and is truthfully overwhelming.  And everything else in our lives seem to be getting busier as well.  Three months does finally feel like there is a bit more breathing room, a bit more normal and routine.  And as much as I hate to admit it, I’m looking forward to the consistency the school year will give us in 4 more weeks.

Gavin’s development amazes us – he is no longer the sack of potatoes we brought home from China.  He is walking, standing up on his own to walk, climbing up and down stairs, and saying lots of words.  We still have our work cut out for us with his medical issues, and are really still trying to figure out what they are.  We are very happy to report that his head MRI was normal, which means he has no evidence of a traumatic brain injury at birth (which was his diagnosis in China).  Each test brings another set of tests which are exhausting, but we keep on until we have all the answers we need.

Most importantly, we are so grateful for our friends and family who have supported us.  I am not lying when I say we could not have done it without you.  I did not cook dinner for 7 weeks because we had food provided.  I’ve had help with the big kids with our various doctors appointments.  I’ve had encouragement, scripture, affirmation when I needed it most.  I’ve had fun and bucket filling and replenishment.

It’s taken time for me to process everything – our time in China, our first moments home, adjusting to three kids, adjusting to having a special needs kid – it’s all taken me longer than I ever expected.  So here are moments I’m really just now processing, our arrival home.  This is such a perfect picture of the love of support we felt then and now (whether you were there or not).

I have several stacks of thank you notes that I will get to eventually, but know that I am so touched by everyone who has been a part of our story in any way.

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2016 Gavin Comes Home-8230 2016 Gavin Comes Home-8238 2016 Gavin Comes Home-8244 2016 Gavin Comes Home-8303 IMG_2041 IMG_8859 IMG_8863 IMG_8871IMG_8861 IMG_8875

Gavin – one week home

It’s been one week since we’ve been a family of 5!  We’ve had lots of adjustments as we all figure out how to get along.  Gavin is ok with his big siblings, unless he’s mad or they are getting my attention, in which case he may try to hit or bite them.  Ethan loves to tickle and hug him, though he has times where he will act like a baby or obvious wants more attention.  Noelle has been much more excited about him than I expected, but she does not like him in her personal space.  Both big kids think they need to sit on my lap, right next to me or for me to hold them all the time.  Everyone is slowly getting use to the new normal.

Sleeping – Gavin got over jet lag quickly and has been sleeping through the night for the past few days.  He takes a big 3ish hour nap each day.  Most days we have to wake him up from his nap.  Some times he wakes up happy, sometimes screaming.  When we were in China he would point to his crib when he wanted to go to sleep.  Now he lets us rock him for a while instead of just pointing to his crib to be put down.  He will fall asleep on his own.  We are so thankful he’s sleeping well in his crib in his own room!

Eating – this kid is a bottomless pit!  He could sit at the table and eat all day long.  He likes most cooked meals – pasta, mashed potatoes, lasagna, casseroles, hamburger.  He’s not a fan of fresh fruits and vegetables (except bananas) but is eating lots of baby food.  Though he has showed us on multiple occasions he is fully capable of drinking from a sippy cup, he mostly refuses to do it.  We have to syringe feed him water several times a day or he does not make enough wet diapers.  Hopefully we will get this figured out soon.

Development – Gavin is still mostly content sitting in one place and not moving much.  He will frequently want me to pick him up, then immediately point and whine for me to take him somewhere.  I told him if mommy picks him up he does not get to decide where we go!  There are times he will start crawling and make it quite far.  He will also only stand when we make him, and sometimes won’t when we try to make him.  He is quickly getting labeled as “the most stubborn kid the whole world” with his refusal to do things he is capable of!  Gavin loves being outside and does crawl towards the door when we open it.  He is picking up on sign language quickly, and we are working on teaching him more.

This week starts lots of appointments – we have at least one every day but Friday.  We’re excited to get some answers and help his progress, but it’s going to be very busy.  We’re so thankful for everyone who has brought us dinner and offered to help with the big kids.

Ethan wearing his new "ninja" outfit - with suspenders, of course.
Ethan wearing his new “ninja” outfit – with suspenders, of course.
Playing ball with big brother.
Playing ball with big brother.
Noelle thinks she needs to play with all of Gavin's toys.
Noelle thinks she needs to play with all of Gavin’s toys.
A fan of the carseat!
A fan of the carseat!
We had lots of arguments over who would sit where in the Costco cart.
We had lots of arguments over who would sit where in the Costco cart.
Swinging - he loves the swings!
Swinging – he loves the swings!
Noelle modeling her "princess dress" we got for her in China.
Noelle modeling her “princess dress” we got for her in China.
One of the two times he has drank his sippy cup of water.
One of the two times he has drank his sippy cup of water.
Playing t-ball.
Playing t-ball.

Preparing for Gavin

Lots of people have been asking if it’s hard not being able to go get Gavin.  I use to say no, as I have built an emotional wall to protect myself.  I can’t go get him today, so why should I be sad about it?  That won’t change anything. But that wall is slowly crumbling as time goes on.  It will hit me that I’ll never have any baby pictures of him.  Or that we’re going to miss his birthday next week.  Or that in a few weeks I’ll be in Mexico taking care of orphans, while someone else is taking care of my child in an orphanage.  Last week, we found out that the Chicago consulate will no longer authenticate documents notarized a certain way, and 4 of our 13 documents were notarized this way.  This was after I had already mailed our dossier to our courier, so we had to intercept the package, redo a few things, then send it to the Chinese Embassy in Washington DC instead.  This set us back both money and time.  And it makes me sad.

But we recently learned that Gavin is at an amazing facility, where he’s getting more care, attention, and help than he would be at the orphanage.  This is an unbelievable gift, and once I’m able to share more about where he is and the organization that is taking care of him, you will understand why.  Kennedy10818223_10152666086722499_7100785355343610197_oWe’ve moved Noelle into her “big girl” room and are getting the nursery ready for him.  I want to do all the normal “nesting” things, but I have no idea what size of clothes to buy, or what else we’re going to need for him, so it will sit mostly empty for now.

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Once our documents are back from the Embassy (assuming no problems), they will be off to our agency for critical review, then they will send them to China. Then we will official be DTC (Dossier to China) and then soon after LID (logged  in).  Next it will be in China’s hands, and an estimated 4-6 months before travel.

So yes, the waiting it hard.  But we trust in God’s perfect timing.  And we know we will so many more birthdays, holidays, and events with him than without.  We are so thankful for our friends and family that are praying, encouraging, and asking.  It means more than words can ever express.

Kennedy